欲情 第一季 第二集
A kiss is not a kiss
我只希望我们客户拥有个美好的夜晚 Alana I only wish all of our clients were such a delight, Alana.
尽兴的一夜 Lovely evening.
是的 试想我们正在策划 Yeah, considering we spent dinner plotting out
怎么把那些蠢蛋榨干 how to spill the blood of that predatory prick.
噢 连用2个P 我都快高潮了 Oh, two "p" words in a row. I'm approaching threshold.
Alana 你一年赚了3亿 你这是树大招风啊 Alana, you do $300 million a year. You're a target.
你的梦想就快实现了 Your naughty dreams bra is a runaway hit.
某人一定会把你奶罩扒开 It was inevitable somebody was gonna rip it off.
说的好 Michael Well-said, Michael.
帮我打赢这场官司 伙计 Win the lawsuit for me, guys.
我要那杂种的蛋蛋 I want that bastard's balls
在闷热的监狱里颤抖 shriveling in a small jar in a hot room.
我们会搞定的 Alana We'll make this go away, Alana.
你在盯着我的咪咪吗 Luther Are you staring at my breasts, Luther?
不不 只是以人体工程学的角度欣赏 No, no, just marveling at the engineering brilliance
你的胴体 of your naughty dreams.
我没带奶罩 I'm not wearing a bra.
哦 好极了 Oh. Brilliant.
拜拜 Bye, now.
她真是个尤物 What a good person she is.
是的 除了她是 Yeah. Other than being
一个欲火焚身 性欲过剩 被人阉割了的婊子 a power-crazed, oversexed, castrating bitch.
性欲过剩 我怎么不知道 Oversexed? I didn't know that.
自从她成为我们最大的客户 Since she's one of our biggest clients,
我 不该跟她滚床单 不是吗 I... Suppose I shouldn't sleep with her, right?
你不应该上她因为他会把你JJ拧断 You shouldn't sleep with her because she'd snap your dick off
然后把当作一个逗猫的玩具 and use it as a cat toy.
你看到她把咪咪对准我了吧 Did you see how her nipples were pointed right at me
就在奶油浓汤送上桌的时候 when the vichyssoise arrived?
我可不是在随便YY的 Michael I'm not just imagining things here, Michael.
她们直视着我 They were making direct
说 eye contact with me and saying...
Luther 我们在这 "Luther, we're in here,
我们都很空虚 and we're all alone."
是 我们想出来找点乐子 "Yes, we want to come out and have some fun.
我们需要一个朋友 We need a friend."
哦 Luther 是我 Nikki Oh, my God. Luther! It's me, Nikki!
Lena 看那是谁 Lena, look who's here.
Luther Luther?
你记得我们吗 You remember us?
鹿谷 你的雪景公寓 Deer valley? Your ski condo?
- 你有一套雪景公寓 - 那周我是有哒 - You own a ski condo? - I did that weekend.
哦 那个潮吹女 就是我提到那个 Oh, that's the squirter, the one I told you about.
好欢乐 好多水 Loads of fun. Loads of laundry.
Luther Luther,
我们这有些酒和一些来自冰岛的毛片 we've got a bar in here and some nasty DVDs from Iceland.
快来啊 Come say hi!
冰岛 Iceland?
先生 你是Micheal Strathmore Sir, are you Michael Strathmore?
- 是的，怎么了 - 先生 你被捕了 - Yes. What's going on? - Sir, you're under arrest.
为什么 For what?
- 我有一张法院拘票 你有没有辩护律师 - 我就是 - I have a bench warrant. Do you have an attorney? - I am an attorney.
瞧 警官 我可以为Strathmore先生作担保 Now see here, officer! I can vouch for Mr. Strathmore.
起诉什么罪 What's the charge?
先生 你不要干涉警官办案 Sir, you're interfering with an arresting officer.
那些女孩还未成年 Are those girls underage?
当然不是 她们是教会的 Absolutely not. They're part of a church group.
你的警号是多少 警官 What's your badge number, officer?
好吧 我可以对付这个 Luther It's okay. I'll handle this, Luther.
哦 他可以对付 Oh. He'll handle it.
娱乐夜线 将非常钟爱这个 "Entertainment tonight" is going to love this.
我们开始吧 Down we go. Down the hatch.
他们真的喜欢这 And they're really gonna love this.
哦 咪咪 你能看到我吗 咪咪 你能听见我吗 Oh, Nipple, can you see me? Nipple, can you hear me?
我第二任妻子从来不关心赌博 My second wife never cared for gambling,
也许因为她太年轻了不能进赌场 probably 'cause she's too young to get into the casinos.
反正 不要陷得太深因为我TMD反感 Anyway, not to get too deep here 'cause I hate that shit...
这下搞大了 对不 It's all a big gamble anyway, isn't it?
我意思是 到底是什么吸引 I mean, what are the odds
我爱上那个车模了 I'm gonna fall in love with a car show model
想第八次结婚 and want to to get married for the eighth time?
命运真是TMD疯狂 就像我告诉Michael Fate is one crazy motherfucker. It's like I tell Michael...
你拨动了转盘 那个球就会落到它注定要落下的格子 You spin the wheel, a ball falls where it may.
这就是TMD心想事成 Fate could give a fat fuck what you think.
在你得知之前 Before you know it,
我们都在套中浓妆艳抹 we're all wearing heavy makeup in a box anyway,
所以松开手把 so let go of the handlebars.
你为什么蒙上我的眼睛 这是啥情况 Why did you blindfold me? What is this?
什么 我正被一个想杀我的人护送 What, am I being escorted to my own murder?
嘿 闭嘴 Hey, shut up!
这下麻烦大了 You're in trouble.
很严重 A lot of trouble.
嘿 警官 你有木有听过警察暴力 Hey, officer, you ever heard of police brutality?
我对你施暴了 This brutal enough for you?
我听到狮吼 I hear lions.
这是你幻想的 It's just your imagination.
我没有 I don't have an imagination.
你还记得 我是个律师吗 I'm a lawyer, remember?
安静点 我要高潮了 Quiet, and I'll do it just...
天哪 我只要鸡巴 God, I missed your cock.
你知道 它正在渴望着你呐 You know, it's been asking about you.
我们正在TMD动物园里 We're at the fucking zoo.
你喜欢 You like it?
哦 好主意 Jane Ohh! Great idea, Jane.
就是保护和服务 Just protecting and serving.
你的理由是 What's your excuse?
我无法离开你 I can't stay away from you.
你真猛 That was killer.
你骑在我上面好爽 You fought back good.
我下面都湿了 Got me wet.
你还好吧 Are you okay?
恩 Yeah.
怎么了 What is it?
没事 I'm good.
一分钟之前你还好好的 You were better a minute ago.
你太敏感了 You worry too much.
如果我错了 告诉我 我就不在追问 Tell me I'm wrong. I'll stop asking.
你的初吻什么时候丧失的 How old were you when you got your first kiss?
你在怀疑我的吻技 You got a problem with the way I kiss?
你可以 稍微改进下 You can... you could use some work.
听着 我还要值班 Listen, I gotta get back on shift, so, um,
让我们离开这 赶紧 let's get outta here. Just go.
在那里放我下来 Let me out up there.
为什么 我会送你回饭店 Why? I'll run you back to the restaurant
去拿你车的 to get your car.
走过去 透透气 I'll walk. I feel like getting some air.
你生气了 You're pissed.
我能够感觉出来 I can tell because
你话中有话 your sentences get clipped and impersonal.
你从来没有告诉我的吻技是TMD那么业余水平 You never told me I kiss like a fucking amateur.
我从来都没有那么比较过 I never compared you to an amateur.
你的嘴唇 有点让我感到奇怪 就是这样 Your lips... Kind of... kind of weird, that's all.
谁都嘴唇都差不多的 Everybody's isometrical.
难道你是基因项目的领导 What are you, head of the genome project?
我不要听 如果我象你一样吻你 我会要的更多 I don't wanna hear any more. If I kissed like you, I would want details.
是的 幸好我不是你 Yeah, well, I'm not you, for which I am grateful for.
不要以偏概全 我裤子呢 Now pull over. And where's my pants?
不 你把我裤子TMD扔到窗户外面去了 No! You just threw my pants out the goddamn window!
不 不 这不好玩 你怎么了 12岁么 No, no, that's not funny. What are you, 12?
MD 停车 Stop the goddamn car!
我靠 Jesus.
靠 你认为我自我感觉太好 What, you think I'm too self-conscious
以至于光着屁股走在马路上 to walk around without my pants on?
难道你认为你可以用我的裤子来控制我 You think you can control me through my pants?
- 什么裤子 - 哦 去死 - What pants? - Oh, go to hell!
- 哦 我已经在地狱里拉 - 别再指望见到我了 - Oh, I'm already there. - Don't expect to see me.
好 我会低调点的 这样 Yeah, I'll be laying low so me and my deformed lips
我畸形的嘴唇不会在公众场合吓坏小孩子的 aren't out in public scaring children.
操 Fuck.
我曾经花了4个小时和一个喜欢的作家 I once got into a 4-hour argument with a anais nin
争论口交和共产主义 about fellatio and communism.
她发誓她不会吞精的 She swore she didn't swallow
除非那个男人参加苏联的慈善组织 unless the man gave to soviet charities.
我告诉她她过于苛求了 I told her she was an extortionist
并且我非常喜欢深喉 and that I loved sucking cock.
这大麻感觉太棒了 That's good fucking weed.
他们说衡量一流头脑的标准是 They say the measure of a first-class mind
有能力让彼此两方达到高潮 is the ability to entertain two opposing thoughts
同时的 at the same time.
我认为衡量一流头脑的标准是 I think the measure of a first-class mind
深谙何时告诉对方来讨好你 is knowing when to tell someone to kiss your ass.
人们从来都不争论他们在争论的议题 People never argue about what they're arguing about.
这就是最好的例子 It's all just symbolic.
要我说就直奔主题 吞下 加紧干活 I say cut to the chase, swallow, and get on with it.
天哪 我要迟到了 God, I'm gonna be late.
恩 你昨晚通宵了 Mm, you didn't sleep last night.
我可以听见你在辗转反侧 I could hear you tossing and turning.
你身上有草原的味道 You smell like the veld.
我在动物园里做爱 我要走了 We fucked at a zoo. I've gotta go.
动物园 快跟我说说详情好 A zoo? Okay, give me some more details here
让我可以更好的吸收抗抑郁药 so I can burn off my antidepressants.
只是舌吻的问题 懂吗 你开心了吧 It's a kissing problem. Okay? You happier now?
他因为那个而指责你 He accused you of that?
- 我意思是 那根本毫无意义 - 不 是我说他了 - I mean, that's totally insensitive. - No, I accused him.
你不喜欢他的吻技么 You don't like the way he kisses?
你没药救了 You have no future.
感觉他是在舔邮票吗 Is it like he's licking stamps?
不 有一点技巧 很微妙的感觉 No. He's got some technique, some subtlety.
我告诉他是嘴唇张错了地方 I told him it's the lip alignment problem.
完全是在放P Which was bullshit. Total.
呵 所以你意思是你的吻技 Hmm. So you're saying that you're kissing him
比他好咯 better than he's kissing you.
是的 这就是我想说的 Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
有时多愁善感的人更容易踌躇不前 Sometimes the person who feels most holds back most.
他是个律师 不解风情 He's a lawyer. He doesn't know what he feels.
但他的嘴唇能够感受到 His lips do.
真的 It's true.
这完全是我的意见 如果我们去 It is my absolute conviction that if we are going to...
山上 mount...
不要说 山上 Don't say "mount."
为Alana做个小辩护 A proper defense for Alana...
她就是真正推荐的内衣的未来 Who is the future of really suggestive underwear
在美国 这被称为 In America... hereinafter referred to
如丝的Whackoffia as "silky Whackoffia"
而且使得她在法庭上取得胜利 and assure her a courtroom victory...
某一天 她会成为亿万富翁 At which time she will become a billionaire
和我第三任妻子 and my third wife...
你需要对她的生产线有 You need to have a more intimate understanding
有更多的切身了解 of her product line.
你说的这些 只是因为你喜欢摸它的感觉 Blah, blah. You just like touching that stuff.
你究竟在想什么 你今天早上脾气真糟糕 What's the matter with you? You're so pissy this morning.
怎么 在那警察的地界上出了点问题 Hmm, trouble in Copland?
顺便说一句 她很性感 She is sexy, by the way.
她喜欢3P嘛 她 我 还有那个口爆女 She into threesomes... her, me, the squirter?
我会带我的那个攻来 I'll bring my own top.
你知道她喜欢什么么 伤害我的感情 Yeah, you know what she's into? Hurting my feelings.
她说我不是个好的接吻者 She told me I kissed bad.
真的吗 Really?
从没有人说我接吻很差 No one ever said that to me before.
我们结束了 It's over between us.
一吻决定命运哈 Bad kissing is the kiss of death.
呃 你的类型是什么 What's your, um... Style?
什么意思 What do you mean?
你亲吻的方式 来吧 展示给我看 Your kissing style. Show me.
我吻过很多女人了 客观的来说 I've kissed a few women. I'm objective.
我不会亲你的 I'm not gonna kiss you.
来吧 Michael 这是为你好 Oh, come on, Michael. This is for your own good.
我可不会指望从中得到点性快感 I-I don't derive any erotic pleasure from it.
好吧 我主动 All right, take charge.
你呃 倾向左边还是右边 Do you, uh, tilt left or right?
右边吧 Right.
很好 顺便说一句 古龙水味道很好 Lovely. Oh, very nice cologne, by the way.
谢啦 舌吻吗 Thank you. Tongue?
- 别废话了 -明白了 我的唇交给你了 - Not right now. - Understood. My lips are yours.
嗯 一个不够 需要多点的信息 Hmm. One more go. Need more data.
还不错了 It was good.
但还不是最好的 But not great.
不过 我感到满足了 No, I feel fulfilled.
你不是就这样随便说说吧 You're not just saying that?
现在我们试过了 或许你是 Now that we've kissed, maybe you're...
害怕伤害我的感情 Afraid to hurt my feelings?
不 我想你吻技很棒的 Michael No, I think you're a very good kisser, Michael.
但是 我有一点小建议 如果你允许的话 However, I do have one tip. If I may.
好的 Yeah.
这个吻很棒 That was... That was nice.
但是 你刚刚怎么那样 Mm. What was that... what was that thing you were doing?
吮吸 Suction.
吮吸 Suction?
吮吸 Suction.
你是我朋友 It's your friend.
放轻松 我可没啥坏心 Relax. I'm unarmed.
你家很漂亮 Nice place.
看起来漂亮的那些东西都是我妹妹置办的 Whatever looks good is my sister's idea.
她是个有品位的人 She's the one with the taste.
你是说你没品味吗 You saying you don't have taste?
嗯 我是属于枪的女人 Mm. I'm the girl with a gun.
品味这种东西 向来不是我长处 Taste isn't my... Strength.
那什么才是呢 What is?
扯远了 Going too far.
听着 Look...
我请你来是想道歉的 I invited you here to apologize to you...
和你的唇 And your lips...
也许晚一些 还要对你的小JJ道歉 And maybe later, your cock.
啥情况 我吓到你了么 What is it? Do I scare you?
一点点 A little.
我感觉你好像看进了我内心深处 I feel like you see right through me.
不过是给了个热烈的眼神交流 I just have intense eye contact.
你对所有事物都太过狂热 You have intense... Everything.
的确 我正想办法解决这个问题 I'm trying to work on that.
我 I...
我那晚对你撒谎了 I lied to you the other night...
我对于你嘴唇的评论 What I said about your lips.
当我想起这事时 When I thought about it, I...
我意识到或许是我的问题 Realized maybe it was me.
进来吧 Rita Come in, Rita.
我没来早吧 是吗 I'm not too early, am I?
你一定是Michael了 You must be Michael.
我是Rita I'm Rita.
一切还好吗 What's going on?
Rita是我的老友了 Rita's an old friend.
我请她来想让她给我们点建议 I invited here to give us some perspective.
你知道的 就像我说的 You know, like I said,
或许是我的问题 Maybe it was me.
我还记得当我遇见Vic的那个时刻 I still remember the exact moment that I met Vic
在车展上 at the auto show.
我正在新款雷克萨斯上摆造型 I was gesturing at the new Lexus.
不 No.
就是这样的 That was it.
然后 他穿着性感的飞行夹克走过我身边 And he walks past in his sexy flight jacket,
看起来就像壮志凌云里面的Val Kilmer and he looks just like val kilmer out of "top gun,"
接着他看向我然后说 我想我爱上你了 and he sees me and he says, "I think I love you."
随即他吻了我 and then he kisses me.
因此我回吻了 And I kiss him back.
然后我想 我的上帝啊 Chantal，你刚刚做了什么 And then I think, oh, God, Chantal, what did you just do?
但我又想 别停下来 这一切都是真的 And then I thought, don't stop, because this is the real thing.
你知道为什么吗 You know why?
你可以从一个男人如何吻你的方式 You can tell if it's the real thing
来判断一切是不是真的 by the way a man kisses you,
我对了 and I was so right.
这是真爱 That's real love...
假期里我们去了很好的餐厅 And vacations and eating out at fabulous restaurants and...
珠宝店什么的 Jewelry... And...
即使Vic的小JJ看起来像金刚也没关系 It doesn't hurt that Vic's hung like King Kong.
你倾向哪一个 Which one do you like better,
是乡村俱乐部A还是B呢 country club "a" or country club "b"?
哪一个接收犹太人就选哪个 Whichever one admits Jews.
我是认真的 别那么傲慢易怒嘛 I'm serious. Stop being so cavalier and snarky.
我对这并不关心 还觉得这十分讽刺 I was being uncaring and ironic.
别这样 我需要给Pemmie的惊喜派对确定个地址 Come on. I need a location for Pemmie's surprise party.
Pemmie 谁会给一个孩子起名为Pemburg Pemmie. Who names a kid Pemburg?
Pemburg是个家族流传的名字 Pemburg is a family name.
我们是在五月花号上面吗 We were on the "Mayflower."
你奴隶主吗 Did you have slaves?
你究竟帮不帮我 Are you gonna help me or not?
- 那个 - 真的吗 - That one. - Really?
这跟边上那个有什么区别吗 The other one. What difference does it make?
那是个会员都是白头发老家伙的俱乐部 It's a goddamn country club... lot of white-haired guys
他们走到哪都穿着格子裤和蝴蝶领结 walking around in plaid pants and bow ties.
Michael 你怎么了 What is going on with you, Michael?
自从那次事故 你就像变了一个人 You are like a different person since that accident.
我差一点就死了 所有的赌注都取消了 I'm that close to death, all bets are off.
我们就只是一个赌注吗 Is that what we are... a bet?
因为我们现在就像那样 Because if that's what we are...
我们就要胜利了 We're winning.
记住 没有什么你不能和我说的 Just remember, there's nothing that you can't tell me.
我们订婚了 We're engaged.
听 他们在放我们的歌 Michael Michael, they're playing our song.
噢 是的 Oh, yeah.
我们跳舞 Dance with me.
来吧 就在路中间 Come on. Right here in the street. Let's do it.
噢 我们一定是疯了 Oh, we are insane.
一美分换你现在想的事情 Penny for your thoughts.
看起来是我们再找的那个男人 去抓他吧 Yeah, looks like our man. Let's grab him.
这不是说着玩的 我们还是跟踪他一小会儿好了 That's no fun. Let's just chase him a little.
来吧 Come on.
不不 我知道那种眼神 你就快崩溃了 No. No. I know that look. Oh, you're on edge.
答应我你不会再来Charlie Sheen那套 Promise me you're not gonna go all Charlie Sheen again.
你最不需要的就是再来一次停职了 Last thing you need is another suspension.
我只是跟你捣乱呢 I'm just messing with ya.
别这样 给我点信任吧 Come on. Give me a little credit.
不行 尤其是这会 I can't, especially when
你男朋友有三天没打给你了 your boyfriend hasn't called you in three days.
我也没跟他联系啊 I haven't called him either,
而且他不是我男朋友 于我而言他不过是个路人甲 And he's not my boyfriend. He's just a random citizen.
真的吗 我以为你们打得火热呢 Really? I thought you two were hot and heavy.
有什么大不了的 No big deal.
不过是玩玩的 Mm-hmm, flash him.
马上回来 Be right back.
下午好 尼玛的 Afternoon, motherfucker,
欢迎来到这个遵纪守法的世界 and welcome to the world of law-abiding citizens.
我犯什么了 警官 What's this about, officer?
- 像破坏和入室之类的 - 什么 - 是的 你没听错 - Little thing we like to call breaking and entering. - What?! - Yeah.
高兴再回去吗 Comfy back there?
很好 谢了 Very nice, thank you.
看 或许你们太过相似了 Look, maybe you guys are just too much alike.
我意思是 你想自己独身一辈子 对吧 I mean, the last person you wanna get in the ring with is yourself, right?
真的吗 你不是学哲学位的吗 Really? Is that your psychology degree
把后视镜大高些 Preston Hanging over the rearview, Preston?
女士 我可是对个人类行为有很敏锐判断的 Madame, I am an acute observer of the human condition,
尤其是你的 especially yours.
我知道你 没什么你不能解决的 One thing I know about you, Liz... Nothing you can't solve.
直到现在 Up until now.
这个人真心讨你喜欢 This guy really got to you.
在我更深地认清他时 As much as I got to him.
不管怎样 天涯何处无芳草 Anyway, there's other fish in the sea.
- 噢 我猜可不是这样 - 闭嘴 - Oh, I beg to differ. - Shut up back there.
嘿 Pelon 我知道我在说什么 Hey, Pelon, I know what I'm talking about.
别管我 我会把这些写进笔录 亲爱的 Leave me alone. You should write this down, sweetheart.
你真是太美了 You're far too pretty.
听我说 我没有跟 Listen to me. I don't give a mad fuck
真正吸引我的人约会过 what kind of pole or bait you use,
无论贫穷还是富有 if you're poor or if you're rich.
你终将遇到那个属于你的人 You're gonna catch the fish you're supposed to catch.
哦 第五发 Oh, load number five.
为什么我总喜欢去招惹疯婆子 Oh, why must I always go for the freaky chicks?
Luther 皮带太紧了 Luther! The straps are too tight.
该第六发了 Load number six.
Michael Michael?
吻我 Kiss me.
我以为你不喜欢我吻你 I thought you didn't like the way I kiss.
不是这样的 我不过是不大确定 It's not that. It's just, I wasn't sure you meant it.
我没意识到这让你困扰了 I didn't realize it mattered to you.
我也没有 I didn't either.